LOVE WE CAN TRUST

Lamentations 3:22-26

'Because of God's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new evry morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD'

Thank you Jesus that we can have a new hope in you despite all the happenings. You bring us a fresh start every morning and letting us know that today will never be like tomorrow because we can expect new things from you. Your promise to never forsake us gives us the best assurance to life situations that we should always look  to you despite our circumstances.

Dear Jesus,

I am very stressed :( Only because i keep thinking i am dumb and cannot make it. Sometimes i feel high, but sometimes i feel low. Is there ever any remedy in this feeling i feel? I know there is, because there is You! A feeling ma pass to yesterday but new feelings grow today. And when we choose to thing about the grace that you give so free, we will only reap happy feelings and feel the sense of gratitude towards your never ending and never failing love. Can i really do this? i don't know. But God,  I REALLY WANT TO DO WELL.

 Really!!!! This is a chance i have given myself two years before i stepped in here and i hope i can fulfill it. I have fallen so badly i chose to pick up again with your strength on me and the help you gave to me. Please please please Father, help me please. i do not want to feel fear but i know that as long i have you. There will be grace and mercy so free :) its not because of the fame i will get God. Not to prove anything. But i really want to achieve something for myself. I am not sure if its selfish or not. But i pray You will hear my cry and don't turn away from me. Its only you i seek. Help me LORD, and help those around me. Thank you forgiving my of my sins as i repent  and may a new day bring new hope in you. 

Because God's Love never fails.

O Love that wilt not let me go

I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give Thee back my life I owe,

That in Thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be

- Matheson

All you need to know to be content is this; GOD IS GOOD

I AM BACK.
So this week has really been good to me in a way i was able to stay at home to study and all. Helped me slowed down in life a little. Well, i have been on the computer a few days now, trying to type out some paragraphs for gp, turns out to be really interesting! That is why i am here :)
2 MORE WEEKENDS TO A LEVELS~~~
Got to really raise the bar and start working like there is no tomorrow.
However, I've got to admit i have been neglecting Jesus in my life. How can i forget the goodness He has done for me. this week has been really good and its all thank to you Jesus!! THANK YOU GOD!!
My prayer for today is that for the next week i will draw closer to  you spiritually and spend more time with you. i wasted too much time on videos, i admit. SORRYYYYYYY =(
GIVE ME STRENGTH THIS WEEK ALMIGHTY ONE, THAT I MAY STAND STRING A MIDST THE HARDSHIPS SO THAT YOUR GRACE MAY BE GLORIFIED AT THE END OF THE DAY

"Harvest Day"- October 21st
This message about the basic principle of 'you reap what you sow'. however i have gained a new perspective to it. The question asks, "If He asked us to gather up the yield of our everyday choices over the past year. what would we have to show Him?"
My answer is, "nothing"- I guess this tells me i haven't been exactly doing enough for Jesus. i haven't successfully brought a soul into His Kingdom to be saved by His grace, the same one i experienced. Am i so selfish? The Nature of Sin- SELFISHNESS. Am i just not ready, or i don;t want to be ready? Hmmm, that's a question i have to ask myself. I believe growing in Christ is not only an intentional effort to read His words and follow His commandments. But it is also to be intentional to do His work and seek Salvation in others as well as the Sanctification of ourselves. Knowing that there are things i have to give up to pursue that Desire for God, am I willing to? As of now, i admit. I haven't been able to put it all down and say 'I am ready'.

Things of the world often pull at my heart,
But, Lord, help me see the end from the start;
Open my eyes to where my life's going,
What I will reap from all I've been sowing.- K. De Haan

Galatians 5;19-21
'The acts of the flesh are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft' hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as i did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God'

It is actually very shocking to me that this is the case. Shows me how serious there offences are. But everyday, i do these. Hoe shameful of me. How am i supposed to approach God? And i am still living? It's a miracle i think. I mean if God has the ability to strike me dead, why hasn't He? And how can i bring myself to sin against Him despite knowing all that He as been through for His life is taking up our sins and turning it into love? I''m sorry Jesus for sinning against you. Help me not to sow discord towards my sister as it will only breed sin-envy and jealousy with many more after that. You have to help me to release all this n a form of unhurting way so that i may be able to reconcile both of us in the Name of Christ. Please Lord, I beg you to show me the way. NO MORE will i continue sowing discord I have sinned greatly and i ask you forgive me and remove all the bad feelings inside of me. I am sincere if you can fill me heart. Change me to something new, mold me and fill me with your love once again. I know it is never ending. Thank you Father for you have never forsaken me.

I am just waiting for you to show up in my life. Even if you seem distant, i believe all it takes is for me to walk towards you to close up that gap. Wait for me Daddy God!!! =)

Turn not aside, discouraged one;
Stir up your gift, pursue your goal;
In God's own time you'll see Him work;
He'll give you hope and lift your soul- D. D Haan

This gives me comfort in knowing God is there. Although i face the trouble of whether i can make it or not due to my results, i still want to really trust in God. Sometimes its really hard to believe without actually doing anything, you may just succeed. Get what i mean? like, you didn't study as hard, so you won't get anywhere. Makes me feel all demoralized. But then again, it is the same feeling that drives the motivation in me. I WILL NOT GIVE UP at thus  point. All i can do now is try my very best to study and then yes, when i say i will leave the rest to God , i will. And whatever the outcome maybe, i will just go on from there. Ready to receive and accept all there is to my life down the road ahead of me. God wont leave me in a lurch. I know i will have somewhere to go. Because i haven't fulfilled my purpose in life yet, the will that God has for, the reason i am still breathing on this Earth. So i pray God, show me my purpose. Is it cause you do not like someone with no goals? Or was no goals meant for you to do a work in me? Can ordinary people actually strive to become something? But ordinary is the extraordinary in Christ. Many people like Heidi baker were called down from their high positions to serve you then will you use me in the same way? I may not be able to achieve great things. but i aspire to, and i must admit that it is cause of the fame. Maybe that's the reason why i am not ready. When i am able to stop feeding my flesh of its hunger for fame and wealth, only then i will be ready. I want to start doing so and grow in your word so it will be easier along the way. Help me O' God. I know now i just have to study hard and really aim to achieve something i want to do, for the furtherance of  your kingdom. I do not want church to be somewhere i can go and play with. But i want to move into a higher level of understanding and closeness with you! To inspire people of God's love and shine in the darkness, lighting the way to Christ and  God. When will that time be? I don't know, but i know it'll come when unexpected. So i must be ready!! What matters most is I know, you will come Because You promised so =)

Thank you that i have always someone to turn to despite all my troubles. Allowing me to be my cheerful self always. I think its a blessing to express myself, the way i feel. So help me to treasure this gift. And also the way of writing so that i may glorify you in that time that comes.

When the world around you is crumbling, GOD is the Rock on which you can stand.

HIIIIIIII.

I AM BACK AFTER WHO KNOWS WHO LONGGGGGG.

And guess what i am feeling good :)

Many months have passed and i have learnt a lot in the process. 

How i wished i can turn back time but i know i cant, nevertheless. I am glad i am able to earn something so vivid that i will never have the same perspective again!

All i want to say is i THANK GOD! For never forsaking me in times of stress and trouble and never leaving me in thee lurch when help was desperately needed. So now officially i am changed! FOR JESUS. And from this day, i pray i will only seek to do His will and never letting anything else come in between God's love for me and those i love around me. Jesus you see this? I LOVE YOU VERY  MUCH AND AM  THANKFUL FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN ME.

Sooooooo, Its October the 14th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Officially another 3 weekends to A levels. time flew and i must say i only start to treasure school life now since everything has passed. I have basically lived these 2 years of my life with too much drama on the non-academic side. Pssssh~~

But the reason why i chose to come back is because its a Sunday morning! AND I AM NOT IN CHURCH :( For some reason i think i need to come and talk to God since i have been drifting in my opinion. I NEED TO FIND JESUS, WHERE ARE YOU. 

Anyway, back t my motive. i am here because i wished to talk about what i read in the daily bread today!

So the it quotes, "Whoever hears these sayings of Mine,and does them, i will liken him to a wise man who built his house on a rock"- Matthew 7:24

It talks about the importance of building our lives on the solid foundation of Obeying His Word. David McCasland says that 'Hearing God's Words is essential, but doing what He says is the key to weathering the storms in our lives. It's never too late to start building on THE ROCK'

THIS IS SO TRUE. I believe building our purpose on solid foundation like God's Word will never go wrong. In a sense sometimes we need to do things we might not like or favor  to the extent dislike, but we know it will benefit us in the ling run so we do so. i think its very important cause we really need these teachings to help us overcome circumstances in our lives. 'The Rock' represents something that will never falter in times of calamities in life situations. Well. of course everybody yearns to have that, passing of with Words of their own 'wisdom'. but at the end of the day, if i do a self reflection, only  those who truly choose to put your everything in building your foundation is Jesus, i say you will fall but always have the courage to return to your feet because God is always supporting you in all aspects you can never imagine. He cares about the little things we do! I admit that i am no where near that point, but my prayer is that one day i will reach that summit so that i know God is my God. He is real and worthy of only of praises and worships.

I pray i do not have to reach another low moments to experience God like how i did, but i pray it will serve as a reminder to me that God is always there. despite what may happen, i must ask for forgiveness, forgive and turn our eyes upon Jesus and be Awed by His Almighty Presence. 

With only a short time away from the major exams, i pray i will not give up and try only my very best in studying and leave the rest to God. and not think about anything else but His lovely presence and grace :)

praying for all my friends around me too! hope they will understand my purpose for not replying their messages :p

Emmanuel, God With Us <3

Is it time to let go?

And yeah. I'm back here again.

All lost. This week has been really empty.

Not in a way that you think, but i lost motivation to continue in things i have started out.

But i haven been receiving a lot of love from everybody around me after they knew about my situation.

But hey, I jolly well know I'm only running and hiding.

How long can i exactly do that.

It hurts to see you even that i don't even dare to face you any longer.

So is this really the end of us?

This whole week i haven;t been thinking well and much but i'm getting really tired.

My dearest ah kim has already embarked on her journey to salvage this marriage, but me?

Still in some space that i feel so lost.

Really really wondering what will happen to me.

Will i lose you this time, for real?

You see, i never had the courage to speak up but now.

I guess i have to let it go.

It's been really nice having you and my family together. I sincerely hope you will build a home of your own.

Your perfect wife-to-be and family to come will be something you create and uphold.

I hope you take care of yourself too because your habits will take a toll on you if you continue!

You wouldn't want to see your children live without a Daddy right? I'm sure you don't.

I'll be moving on, but you have to ok?

I think you'll do just fine without me because you're a strong person who loves deeply.

Worthy or not of your love, I'm not one to say.

But i guess, my time spent with you taught me a lot of things that i can never acquire from anywhere.

We had our ups and downs but hey, it made us grow into each other isn't it?

I know it'll be hard for you too, but I'm guessing we'll never meet or see each other again because you are those sort right.

However, i won't go anywhere.

Because whenever you need help, i'll still be here to lend you those listening ears and teaching you God's words if i have the chance to. It may be slim, but i'll keep hoping.

Just want to say sorry to your family for not being able to be a part of your family.

Make it whole with all your love and let it flourish once again in the hands of the Maker, The Heavenly Father.

Abide in him as He abide in you.

Once again, it's really nice to meet you and share all those joyful moments with you!

You've been a really sweet guy but i guess we were not meant to be.

I loved you for who you are and i hope you did too!

You'll always be that angel in my heart :)

And sincerely, for the very last time.

I LOVE YOU JEFFREY TOONG <3

Goodbye my precious one.

Gambling? Not my cup of tea.

Hey honey.
I'm back here again. I'm only here because i don't know how to solve this.
I'm always here only because i can't seem to figure out what to do.
Hmmm,, many things happened this week and it always falls back to neglecting your presence and importance.
What I want to say that i never meant to neglect you. I also hope i can strike a balance between you and my family. But sometimes  i move towards the other side i think because of familiarity? Oh and if i'm too close to you my mummy always scold me. Always tell me to behave myself. Lame as it is, i hope they'll open up to you more. Mmm, whatever you saw in the notes right, it's just something that i want to say at that time. But i don't feel that way anymore. Okay, i feel so lost without you. i know i should have known better then to leave you. But i didn't skip my sl for nothing right? I wanted to meet you for dinner but you seemed like you didn't want to see me anymore. I asked i meant, but you seemed quite reluctant and its because of me. So yeah, really sorry. But this week wasn't spent properly, we totally wasted everyday quarreling with each other. the only week we had. well, i hope i don't have to waste another. Forgive me once again k? I'll make it worth your forgiveness :( thank you for being mine :)

One of those days where you don't get what you want

Heyyyyy. It's been long since i dropped by here. Well, it WAS supposed to be a daily basis thingy thill we patch up but, ohwells :p
So life went on smoothly till my promo results came out.
YOU TOTALLY PROMOTED :))) CONGRATULATIONS.
but the sad thing is, i didn;t make it.
I don't know why this  must happen to me.
But like, i know everything happens for a reason? So yeah. RETESTING :/

But all i know, i will do my best for it. I think i can do it with you.
Honestly, i don't trust myself in the least bit. But i trust you!
So if it gets out of hand you must control and stop me k? Or i'll ust fall backwards.
You're seriously the only reason why i choose to redo everything. Well, my parents also play a role but i guess they don't make much of a difference in my school life.
What would i do without you?!
So i must study hard, and WILL STUDY HARD because of you guys :)

We had a longggggg talk today.
Hope you poured everything pout like you wanted to? and really hope that is what byou really meant from the bottom of your heart. Because i can only see your true self if you choose to show it to me k?
And i know i always disappoint you, and admitting i may still disappoint you, i really hope i will learn.
But it's easier siad than done. And the time span you spare me is so little.
My dad says, 'slow and steady'- i believe so too. so maybe we should go slow?
hmmmm, and dont worry about them! They'll be just fine.
HELP ME KKKKK? i seriously need all the help i can get :0

THANK YOU SO MUCH for tolerating my nosnese. for appreciating me and also, doing every lil' bit for me.
BIG AND SMALL, i owe it al to you :)
so i hope i can be your source of motivation and hope too.
Sorry i didn't make it, but we must try our best now!!!

Dozing of alreaddy! GOODNIGHT :))

DAY 5- SOMETHING'S CHANGED :)

WELL EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED ACTUALLY.
Hmm, we are already talking. And it hasn't even been a month! Not even a week my dear!
But i was still wondering whether i can even last for 1 month. Phew~
Thanks for saving me. You can actually see what i was going through right :(
Its over anyway, just glad everything is fine now.

Although it's only for now, i know somehow it's too good to br true.
But i learn. Because good things don't last, but after every rain, there will be sunshine right?
HEH. So have i grown up? :p
NAH, i think i have not actually. But i'm learning.
And i really want to learn, but i hope i'm going the right way.

I know today i never really appreciate you. Cause i was preoccupied with my friends!
And so we made sushi! :)
I know you want it too, but next time we m ake together k?
Nicer nicer! Because if i give you tomorrow, sure become rock :p
Then we had quite a lot of fun.
But not those super super fun one.
Guess i have more fun with you :)

So tomorrow i got training! But hope i can do some stuff tomorrow!
And tomorrow have presentation :/
But don't need to go school early la! Maybe i will make pancakes and eat! :)
kk, cannot! Must slim down :p
I have not bathed though :( Lazyyyyy.

And HOW CAN YOU EAT SO MUCH AND SLEEP?!?!?!
HOW MANY TIMES I SAY YOU CAN'T DO THAT ALREADY.
NAGGY THEN LISTEN OKAY.
Will worry one eh :((
I WILL SERIOUSLY IGNORE YOU OKAY.
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
Yeah right ://
How could i bear to.
LISTEN TO ME K??? PLEASEEEEEEEEE.
HAIYAA.

Okay, so now i hope it can stay this way.
I really wanted to see you today!
As in felt the urge, but must resist.
But i miss you too k! :p
Hopefully you do too! :)
Now i feel much more lively and happier. Or can i say, blessed :)
Thanks for lvoing me too. <33

kkk, time to watch tv! X-FACTOR!!!
TATATATA~