All you need to know to be content is this; GOD IS GOOD

I AM BACK.
So this week has really been good to me in a way i was able to stay at home to study and all. Helped me slowed down in life a little. Well, i have been on the computer a few days now, trying to type out some paragraphs for gp, turns out to be really interesting! That is why i am here :)
2 MORE WEEKENDS TO A LEVELS~~~
Got to really raise the bar and start working like there is no tomorrow.
However, I've got to admit i have been neglecting Jesus in my life. How can i forget the goodness He has done for me. this week has been really good and its all thank to you Jesus!! THANK YOU GOD!!
My prayer for today is that for the next week i will draw closer to  you spiritually and spend more time with you. i wasted too much time on videos, i admit. SORRYYYYYYY =(
GIVE ME STRENGTH THIS WEEK ALMIGHTY ONE, THAT I MAY STAND STRING A MIDST THE HARDSHIPS SO THAT YOUR GRACE MAY BE GLORIFIED AT THE END OF THE DAY

"Harvest Day"- October 21st
This message about the basic principle of 'you reap what you sow'. however i have gained a new perspective to it. The question asks, "If He asked us to gather up the yield of our everyday choices over the past year. what would we have to show Him?"
My answer is, "nothing"- I guess this tells me i haven't been exactly doing enough for Jesus. i haven't successfully brought a soul into His Kingdom to be saved by His grace, the same one i experienced. Am i so selfish? The Nature of Sin- SELFISHNESS. Am i just not ready, or i don;t want to be ready? Hmmm, that's a question i have to ask myself. I believe growing in Christ is not only an intentional effort to read His words and follow His commandments. But it is also to be intentional to do His work and seek Salvation in others as well as the Sanctification of ourselves. Knowing that there are things i have to give up to pursue that Desire for God, am I willing to? As of now, i admit. I haven't been able to put it all down and say 'I am ready'.

Things of the world often pull at my heart,
But, Lord, help me see the end from the start;
Open my eyes to where my life's going,
What I will reap from all I've been sowing.- K. De Haan

Galatians 5;19-21
'The acts of the flesh are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft' hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as i did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God'

It is actually very shocking to me that this is the case. Shows me how serious there offences are. But everyday, i do these. Hoe shameful of me. How am i supposed to approach God? And i am still living? It's a miracle i think. I mean if God has the ability to strike me dead, why hasn't He? And how can i bring myself to sin against Him despite knowing all that He as been through for His life is taking up our sins and turning it into love? I''m sorry Jesus for sinning against you. Help me not to sow discord towards my sister as it will only breed sin-envy and jealousy with many more after that. You have to help me to release all this n a form of unhurting way so that i may be able to reconcile both of us in the Name of Christ. Please Lord, I beg you to show me the way. NO MORE will i continue sowing discord I have sinned greatly and i ask you forgive me and remove all the bad feelings inside of me. I am sincere if you can fill me heart. Change me to something new, mold me and fill me with your love once again. I know it is never ending. Thank you Father for you have never forsaken me.

I am just waiting for you to show up in my life. Even if you seem distant, i believe all it takes is for me to walk towards you to close up that gap. Wait for me Daddy God!!! =)

Turn not aside, discouraged one;
Stir up your gift, pursue your goal;
In God's own time you'll see Him work;
He'll give you hope and lift your soul- D. D Haan

This gives me comfort in knowing God is there. Although i face the trouble of whether i can make it or not due to my results, i still want to really trust in God. Sometimes its really hard to believe without actually doing anything, you may just succeed. Get what i mean? like, you didn't study as hard, so you won't get anywhere. Makes me feel all demoralized. But then again, it is the same feeling that drives the motivation in me. I WILL NOT GIVE UP at thus  point. All i can do now is try my very best to study and then yes, when i say i will leave the rest to God , i will. And whatever the outcome maybe, i will just go on from there. Ready to receive and accept all there is to my life down the road ahead of me. God wont leave me in a lurch. I know i will have somewhere to go. Because i haven't fulfilled my purpose in life yet, the will that God has for, the reason i am still breathing on this Earth. So i pray God, show me my purpose. Is it cause you do not like someone with no goals? Or was no goals meant for you to do a work in me? Can ordinary people actually strive to become something? But ordinary is the extraordinary in Christ. Many people like Heidi baker were called down from their high positions to serve you then will you use me in the same way? I may not be able to achieve great things. but i aspire to, and i must admit that it is cause of the fame. Maybe that's the reason why i am not ready. When i am able to stop feeding my flesh of its hunger for fame and wealth, only then i will be ready. I want to start doing so and grow in your word so it will be easier along the way. Help me O' God. I know now i just have to study hard and really aim to achieve something i want to do, for the furtherance of  your kingdom. I do not want church to be somewhere i can go and play with. But i want to move into a higher level of understanding and closeness with you! To inspire people of God's love and shine in the darkness, lighting the way to Christ and  God. When will that time be? I don't know, but i know it'll come when unexpected. So i must be ready!! What matters most is I know, you will come Because You promised so =)

Thank you that i have always someone to turn to despite all my troubles. Allowing me to be my cheerful self always. I think its a blessing to express myself, the way i feel. So help me to treasure this gift. And also the way of writing so that i may glorify you in that time that comes.