When the world around you is crumbling, GOD is the Rock on which you can stand.

HIIIIIIII.

I AM BACK AFTER WHO KNOWS WHO LONGGGGGG.

And guess what i am feeling good :)

Many months have passed and i have learnt a lot in the process. 

How i wished i can turn back time but i know i cant, nevertheless. I am glad i am able to earn something so vivid that i will never have the same perspective again!

All i want to say is i THANK GOD! For never forsaking me in times of stress and trouble and never leaving me in thee lurch when help was desperately needed. So now officially i am changed! FOR JESUS. And from this day, i pray i will only seek to do His will and never letting anything else come in between God's love for me and those i love around me. Jesus you see this? I LOVE YOU VERY  MUCH AND AM  THANKFUL FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN ME.

Sooooooo, Its October the 14th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Officially another 3 weekends to A levels. time flew and i must say i only start to treasure school life now since everything has passed. I have basically lived these 2 years of my life with too much drama on the non-academic side. Pssssh~~

But the reason why i chose to come back is because its a Sunday morning! AND I AM NOT IN CHURCH :( For some reason i think i need to come and talk to God since i have been drifting in my opinion. I NEED TO FIND JESUS, WHERE ARE YOU. 

Anyway, back t my motive. i am here because i wished to talk about what i read in the daily bread today!

So the it quotes, "Whoever hears these sayings of Mine,and does them, i will liken him to a wise man who built his house on a rock"- Matthew 7:24

It talks about the importance of building our lives on the solid foundation of Obeying His Word. David McCasland says that 'Hearing God's Words is essential, but doing what He says is the key to weathering the storms in our lives. It's never too late to start building on THE ROCK'

THIS IS SO TRUE. I believe building our purpose on solid foundation like God's Word will never go wrong. In a sense sometimes we need to do things we might not like or favor  to the extent dislike, but we know it will benefit us in the ling run so we do so. i think its very important cause we really need these teachings to help us overcome circumstances in our lives. 'The Rock' represents something that will never falter in times of calamities in life situations. Well. of course everybody yearns to have that, passing of with Words of their own 'wisdom'. but at the end of the day, if i do a self reflection, only  those who truly choose to put your everything in building your foundation is Jesus, i say you will fall but always have the courage to return to your feet because God is always supporting you in all aspects you can never imagine. He cares about the little things we do! I admit that i am no where near that point, but my prayer is that one day i will reach that summit so that i know God is my God. He is real and worthy of only of praises and worships.

I pray i do not have to reach another low moments to experience God like how i did, but i pray it will serve as a reminder to me that God is always there. despite what may happen, i must ask for forgiveness, forgive and turn our eyes upon Jesus and be Awed by His Almighty Presence. 

With only a short time away from the major exams, i pray i will not give up and try only my very best in studying and leave the rest to God. and not think about anything else but His lovely presence and grace :)

praying for all my friends around me too! hope they will understand my purpose for not replying their messages :p

Emmanuel, God With Us <3

Is it time to let go?

And yeah. I'm back here again.

All lost. This week has been really empty.

Not in a way that you think, but i lost motivation to continue in things i have started out.

But i haven been receiving a lot of love from everybody around me after they knew about my situation.

But hey, I jolly well know I'm only running and hiding.

How long can i exactly do that.

It hurts to see you even that i don't even dare to face you any longer.

So is this really the end of us?

This whole week i haven;t been thinking well and much but i'm getting really tired.

My dearest ah kim has already embarked on her journey to salvage this marriage, but me?

Still in some space that i feel so lost.

Really really wondering what will happen to me.

Will i lose you this time, for real?

You see, i never had the courage to speak up but now.

I guess i have to let it go.

It's been really nice having you and my family together. I sincerely hope you will build a home of your own.

Your perfect wife-to-be and family to come will be something you create and uphold.

I hope you take care of yourself too because your habits will take a toll on you if you continue!

You wouldn't want to see your children live without a Daddy right? I'm sure you don't.

I'll be moving on, but you have to ok?

I think you'll do just fine without me because you're a strong person who loves deeply.

Worthy or not of your love, I'm not one to say.

But i guess, my time spent with you taught me a lot of things that i can never acquire from anywhere.

We had our ups and downs but hey, it made us grow into each other isn't it?

I know it'll be hard for you too, but I'm guessing we'll never meet or see each other again because you are those sort right.

However, i won't go anywhere.

Because whenever you need help, i'll still be here to lend you those listening ears and teaching you God's words if i have the chance to. It may be slim, but i'll keep hoping.

Just want to say sorry to your family for not being able to be a part of your family.

Make it whole with all your love and let it flourish once again in the hands of the Maker, The Heavenly Father.

Abide in him as He abide in you.

Once again, it's really nice to meet you and share all those joyful moments with you!

You've been a really sweet guy but i guess we were not meant to be.

I loved you for who you are and i hope you did too!

You'll always be that angel in my heart :)

And sincerely, for the very last time.

I LOVE YOU JEFFREY TOONG <3

Goodbye my precious one.

Gambling? Not my cup of tea.

Hey honey.
I'm back here again. I'm only here because i don't know how to solve this.
I'm always here only because i can't seem to figure out what to do.
Hmmm,, many things happened this week and it always falls back to neglecting your presence and importance.
What I want to say that i never meant to neglect you. I also hope i can strike a balance between you and my family. But sometimes  i move towards the other side i think because of familiarity? Oh and if i'm too close to you my mummy always scold me. Always tell me to behave myself. Lame as it is, i hope they'll open up to you more. Mmm, whatever you saw in the notes right, it's just something that i want to say at that time. But i don't feel that way anymore. Okay, i feel so lost without you. i know i should have known better then to leave you. But i didn't skip my sl for nothing right? I wanted to meet you for dinner but you seemed like you didn't want to see me anymore. I asked i meant, but you seemed quite reluctant and its because of me. So yeah, really sorry. But this week wasn't spent properly, we totally wasted everyday quarreling with each other. the only week we had. well, i hope i don't have to waste another. Forgive me once again k? I'll make it worth your forgiveness :( thank you for being mine :)

One of those days where you don't get what you want

Heyyyyy. It's been long since i dropped by here. Well, it WAS supposed to be a daily basis thingy thill we patch up but, ohwells :p
So life went on smoothly till my promo results came out.
YOU TOTALLY PROMOTED :))) CONGRATULATIONS.
but the sad thing is, i didn;t make it.
I don't know why this  must happen to me.
But like, i know everything happens for a reason? So yeah. RETESTING :/

But all i know, i will do my best for it. I think i can do it with you.
Honestly, i don't trust myself in the least bit. But i trust you!
So if it gets out of hand you must control and stop me k? Or i'll ust fall backwards.
You're seriously the only reason why i choose to redo everything. Well, my parents also play a role but i guess they don't make much of a difference in my school life.
What would i do without you?!
So i must study hard, and WILL STUDY HARD because of you guys :)

We had a longggggg talk today.
Hope you poured everything pout like you wanted to? and really hope that is what byou really meant from the bottom of your heart. Because i can only see your true self if you choose to show it to me k?
And i know i always disappoint you, and admitting i may still disappoint you, i really hope i will learn.
But it's easier siad than done. And the time span you spare me is so little.
My dad says, 'slow and steady'- i believe so too. so maybe we should go slow?
hmmmm, and dont worry about them! They'll be just fine.
HELP ME KKKKK? i seriously need all the help i can get :0

THANK YOU SO MUCH for tolerating my nosnese. for appreciating me and also, doing every lil' bit for me.
BIG AND SMALL, i owe it al to you :)
so i hope i can be your source of motivation and hope too.
Sorry i didn't make it, but we must try our best now!!!

Dozing of alreaddy! GOODNIGHT :))

DAY 5- SOMETHING'S CHANGED :)

WELL EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED ACTUALLY.
Hmm, we are already talking. And it hasn't even been a month! Not even a week my dear!
But i was still wondering whether i can even last for 1 month. Phew~
Thanks for saving me. You can actually see what i was going through right :(
Its over anyway, just glad everything is fine now.

Although it's only for now, i know somehow it's too good to br true.
But i learn. Because good things don't last, but after every rain, there will be sunshine right?
HEH. So have i grown up? :p
NAH, i think i have not actually. But i'm learning.
And i really want to learn, but i hope i'm going the right way.

I know today i never really appreciate you. Cause i was preoccupied with my friends!
And so we made sushi! :)
I know you want it too, but next time we m ake together k?
Nicer nicer! Because if i give you tomorrow, sure become rock :p
Then we had quite a lot of fun.
But not those super super fun one.
Guess i have more fun with you :)

So tomorrow i got training! But hope i can do some stuff tomorrow!
And tomorrow have presentation :/
But don't need to go school early la! Maybe i will make pancakes and eat! :)
kk, cannot! Must slim down :p
I have not bathed though :( Lazyyyyy.

And HOW CAN YOU EAT SO MUCH AND SLEEP?!?!?!
HOW MANY TIMES I SAY YOU CAN'T DO THAT ALREADY.
NAGGY THEN LISTEN OKAY.
Will worry one eh :((
I WILL SERIOUSLY IGNORE YOU OKAY.
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
Yeah right ://
How could i bear to.
LISTEN TO ME K??? PLEASEEEEEEEEE.
HAIYAA.

Okay, so now i hope it can stay this way.
I really wanted to see you today!
As in felt the urge, but must resist.
But i miss you too k! :p
Hopefully you do too! :)
Now i feel much more lively and happier. Or can i say, blessed :)
Thanks for lvoing me too. <33

kkk, time to watch tv! X-FACTOR!!!
TATATATA~

DAY 4- Hmmm, Nothing much changed.

Today was equally horrible.
It just doesn't feel right without you.

Hmmm, but the whole day was fine.
Went to school late but made it in time. Totally panicking over my oral presentation. :/
Then just slacked the whole day and went for training.
Training wasn't fun, it was something more like occupying? Erm, like takes my mind of stuffs.
Then we just plaed and trained and as usual. I headed home.
but the journey home was what really hit me.
Urgh. Seriously feelit mans. I don't know, just don;t feel very good.
But i knid of occupied my whole week with stuff so yeah. Or else, i'll just go crazy sitting nowhere doing nothing.

Well, tomorrow calls for a celebration!!
Yan ting, Shirley, Hui Xian and Hui Fang is going to come my house and MAKE SUSHI. YAYY :))
Cause i kind of neglected them in the long run. So, here is kind of payback time :p
But like, we decided to celebrate shirley's b'day together too! A REALLY EARLY ONE :)
Hope it'll be fun for all of us! Taking pictires as memoir also!

Oh and yesterday i actually saw the polaroid and soooooo wanted to buy it.
But it's so expensive and mummy's going to kill me if she ever finds out.
Always complain i spend so much money, but i know cause she just wants me to save for rainy days.
OHWELLS. but those stuff were super cool! Can keep pictures as memories. Just blabbering :p

So how is today again?
Lived it well? Or not?
Hope you are having a good time with your PW mates and your CLass friends. Especially that 2 cheeky ones :p
Mmmmm, you just texted me. But i don't really expect anything. But this long distance thing is hardship.
One of the 'Hardest" ship i ever sailed. Okayy, i"m starting to be lame.
Hmm, i wonder what i should reply. You'll find out>

But just so you know, i"ve seriously been thinking of you wherever i go.
Can't really get you out so i don;t konw...
You too?? Maybei could make your life better by avoiding and hiding at one corner. Or at least getting out of our head? But will it really help?
GOSH. THIS IS INSANE.
kkk, the post should end here.
Outpour of misery and lost hope only.
Geez.

So i'll see you soon?
I mean it's only day 4.
And i still have 24 more to go.
Just great.
I WILL SURVIVE! :))

Till we meet again.

Day 3- Feels SO LONG

It feels even longer today. Exhausted. Feels so empty too.
Mmmm, i just watched 2 movies with Nelle.
1. Real Steel
2. In Time
VERY NICE. But it only keeps me occupied for a while.
Feels like i slacked a lot and it's stressing!
PW and results also coming out already. Ok, maybe i'm just trying to occupy my mind with thoughts.
But, IT SERIOUSLY FEELS SO LONG. And guess what, its only day 3. Boohoo :(

BUT, how are you again today?
Oh i forgot to tell you, i missd school today because i didn't wake up on time!
Supposed to go to school myself, but couldn't wake up. OOPS!
You didn't have training today right? Mmm, so i wonder what you did.
Hmm, seriously don't know what you'll do when you're not with me.
Sleep? Noooo. Cook? Douut so.
HEE, anyway. The movie was quite nice! i know i was supposed to watch In Time with you, but my sis reallly wanted to watch it. Sorry :p
Oh Oh! You know the cookies is nice! But i have a lot then don't know who to give to.

AHHHH. Not sure what to write already. I'll be livelier tomorrow okay?
SORRY :/

BYEBYE~